Rey Adds New Twist to Outgoing President's Gift
In accepting the gavel from outgoing President Charlie Delatorre, incoming President Justo Rey added a new twist to the customary ceremony of providing the departing president with a gift.

First he spent a few minutes telling the audience what it already knew about "the Star from Gainesville" - including his success in the business, as a member of the Association of Free Community Papers (AFCP) board, as a faculty member of The Leadership Institute, as a graduate of the University of Florida and an avid Gator fan.

Then Rey continued, "He is Cuban, which automatically makes him okay and gives him the birthright to exaggerate. Being a Cuban, even in Gainesville, makes him a good swimmer - especially in the 90-mile breast stroke. You would think he would know his rum better, but ... we will work on him. He does drink his share of rum.

"Here is something you definitely do not know about Señor Delatorre.

"Charlie has an inseparable traveling companion ... and it is not his wife!! See, Charlie always travels with ‘Salma.'  Who is Salma? Get your mind out of the gutter. Salma is a pillow that he takes with him everywhere - even in his recent trip to India. We have some juice on that too, but we want a G-rated conference.

"The pillow is named after a Mexican film star, singer and producer who is a native of and resides in Veracruz, Mexico, one Salma Heyak. She happens to be gorgeous! Good choice, Charlie.

"Well, after word leaked out that Charlie had a pillow named Salma, the CPF CSI team decided to investigate to see what we could find. We came up with some interesting tidbits.

"On one of his trips to Biloxi, Mississippi, to drink and gamble, Charlie and some friends he made during the trip ended up at a casino table next to a 90-year-old woman. Well, Charlie and the old lady hit it off immediately. She wore a red wig and had long red fingernails and was dressed for a night of gambling. When Charlie found out her name was Salma, he and his friends - who were aware of the pillow - roared with laughter, which brought him closer to the 90-year old lady!

"Always wanting to be the life of the party, Charlie convinced Salma to help him entertain the crowd and they soon had the people nearby rolling on the floor with laughter. Salma just loved Charlie.

"This sounded like a remarkable lady, so we decided to look into the whereabouts of Salma. Well, we did find her in Biloxi. Charlie, I have to warn you - what we found will likely tear you up. See, due to her gambling habits, high living and a family that deserted her, we discovered that Salma has fallen on hard times. Salma expressed an interest in seeing Charlie again, so we invited her to this conference to present Charlie with a new pillow.

"We also talked to Charlie's family and employees and it was agreed that the Delatorre family would give Salma a home and that she would work for his Senior Times Magazine selling display advertising. Because of his desire to help friends, we expect that Charlie will agree with his family and employees and step up to the plate to give Salma a helping hand.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Charlie's new house guest, CPF and Senior Times sales person, Salma Rudy," Rey said.

"Salma" entered with her walker, cane and suitcase, gave Charlie a hug and a smooch, and immediately began entertaining the audience. She presented Charlie with a new pillow with "Salma" sewn onto it, then noted that the suitcase had all her belongings and she was ready to move in with the Delatorre family.

After the fun was over, Justo presented Charlie with a watch and thanked him for his service to the association.


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